Saturday, February 14, 2015
Wanting More Children
A friend shared a blog post (see link below) this morning on her Facebook and its message resonated with me in a profound way. People are often confused and bewildered by us. "More?!" They ask astonished. Its hard to explain just how much we long for another child.
I don't speak of it much, but I often grieve the loss of my uterus. I had to have an emergency hysterectomy when I was just 23 years old due to severe prolapse. In fact, my prolapse was responsible for my boy's premature births. After Benji was born (at just 26 weeks), there was no hope for my "baby maker." It would never carry a baby safely again. On Benji's due date - November 27, 2010. I had the heart wrenching procedure. I knew even then that I was not "done" having babies.
For those that know me well, know that "children are my lot in life." I was a bit confused as to why God had allowed me to lose our ability to have more children when we had such a desire to have a large family. Of course, we had always considered adoption.....BUT, would we have pursued our "Xavier" IF we could have more of our own?! Would we have the opportunity to help open a country up for international adoptions? Would we be seeking out an individual with special needs to come into our family?
We have come to believe that my hysterectomy (as heart breaking as it is for me) is a sign that we are meant to adopt. Our heart's desire to add to our family....I believe God placed that love and desire in our hearts. He has CALLED us to add to our family. And because of a rare, unfortunate medical complication, we have been asked to carry a baby in our hearts instead of my womb.
Check out the blog article here:
"Wanting More Children When Your Hands Are Full"
Author's Quote: "She still gets that ache when a friend announces her pregnancy. She still pauses in the baby section to gaze at the little nightgowns. She glances at the family portrait hanging on the wall and imagines another face in it"